Tuesday, August 31, 2004

WWJD -- What Would Jesus Do??

Not exactly.

What Would Jenna Drink?

The ever-so-happy Bush twins are back in the news. They finally turned a legal 21 and had a big birthday bash, replete with tiered cake. They managed to blow a .25 on the breathalyzer.

I happen to remember that day on the utterly failed Rush Limba TV show that he mentioned the "White House Dog" and showed a picture of a then ungainly, surely unassured, typical teenager, Chelsea Clinton. The Pigboy made Presidential children fair game, and I follow in his dispicable tradition. Incidentally, have you seen Chelsea recently?? A dog she is not.

Jenna's not a dog either. In fact, she is just downright cute ... in the sort of cute way that you find in cowboy bars, college Young Republicans meetings, and guests on the Jerry Springer Show.

But Jenna seems to have inherited some of her daddy's genetic material. She is continuing the Bush tradion of starting to drink at 5 PM and stopping 19 years later.

But along with all the bad news that comes from the Bush twins actions at frat parties, there is some good news. Jenna is learning to play a musical instrument.... the breathalyzer.

George had to have a little father-to-daughter talk with the girls. He reminded them that he has had to give up the wild life after he was seriously injured, and awarded a Purple Heart for sitting on a broken Lone Star bottle. He still carries a shard of glass in his butt. The fact that he is now a dry, rather than wet, drunk, is the reason he can speak clearly to their problem and not misunderestimate them like everyone else.

It is rumored however, that Jenna is not happy with the code name that she was given by the Secret Service -- Roger Clinton.

Like the day she was photoed in the back seat of the $250,000 heavily armored Presidential limo (I know some Marines in Iraq that would like to borrow that car), sticking her tongue out at the crowd. Way to go, Jenna. Good to see that you have made a successful entry into adulthood.

It interesting that the Bush family has failed to raise the bar in America. Turns out they really meant, close it.

Thank you freeps. I always read your mail with great interest and attention.


NY Post: "Jenna and Barbara Bush lived up to their hard-partying reputation while in NYC supporting their pop, during the Republican Convention, according to our spies around town. The twosome kicked off aweek of fun last Sat at Chelsea hot spot 17, where...they partied with a group of 20 guests till the early hours. 'Jenna seemed more wild than Barbara,' said a witness. 'They probably got through about three bottles of Level vodka...' The conservative cuties' next big night was Wed. at Sixth Avenue nightclub Avalon, where they were in the crowd smoking cigarettes and pumping their fists to Kid Rock, who was performing onstage. 'They [and their entourage of about 25] drank $4,500 dollars worth of drinks - bottles and bottles of vodka,' says a club insider.'Then, having comped all the alcohol, they left a $48 tip. We thought 1%was kind of outrageous, considering they are the president's daughters."http://www.buzzflash.com/buzzscripts/buzz.dll/sub2

And cheap too....

Sunday, August 29, 2004

Barely missing getting first place at the Darwin Awards

A Crazie Christer from Dublin cost the Brazilian leader of the Marathon a win Sunday by running onto the course and tackling the leader who eventually finished third.

This is not the first time defrocked priest Cornelius "Neil" Horan, has caused some disruption at an event. Last year at the British Grand Prix he ran onto the back staightaway during the race. Fifteen hundred pound, 1000 horsepower Grand Prix race cars, going 230 mph had to dodge him on the track. http://sport.guardian.co.uk/olympics2004/athletics/story/0,14782,1293496,00.html

I remember seeing an Indy Car hit at rabbit at Indy once. Made for an interesting puff of pink cloud for about 1/2 second. One has to wonder if the cloud of debris from the Right Reverend Horan would have lasted any longer?

Come to think of it ... why isn't this guy in NYC this week talking about "family values" from the podium?

During his loss to the Grand Prix cars it was found that he had been nipping at the grog ... no word from Athens on whether or not it was the pushing incident, or simply a venomous breath that cost the Brazilian the race.

Perhaps we could ask Paul Summers to take a peek under the kilt he was wearing and give us the low-down -- ahem -- on what he finds. Just what I love -- a fundy, drunk, screwing up a sporting event, shouting Bible Verses, wearing a dress, and a repeat offender to boot. Sounds like the morning service at the Cherry Street Baptist Church.

Don't come to my party, pal

The Repuglies are doing their best to look like real people in New York City this week ... (it takes great literary talent to use "repuglie" and "real people" in the same sentence). To the casual observer it may look like a bunch of blue-haired Daughters of the Confederate States, massively overweight TV preachers who have never heard the term, "gluttony", and fat-cat business types who run around, puffed to their ample gills, making sure that no one is even thinking about the Log Cabin Republicans getting a seat on the floor of the party.

This party reminds me of the party I had when I was a kid. I bet you did it too. Of the greatest importance was to have a little talk with the adults and to give them instructions on how to behave themselves at the party. It was pretty simple: "Get the hell in your room, don't come out, if you need to go to the bathroom crawl out the window and use the tree --- but Jeeeeezzzzzeee .... don't let any of my friends see you. I want to get invited to their parties someday."

Exactly the same thing is going on in NYC this week. Bush will be there for an hour or so, and then promptly get his butt out of town, just ahead of a crowd of angry New Yorkers with a rope and stout scaffold.

Cheney will give a tribute to his daughter, "Halliburton Initiates AIDS Clinic with Faith-Based Funds".

Rudy will talk about, "How a pudgy blond stomped me so bad I still hurt."

Arnuld will say something about the Olympics, but nobody will understand a word of it. The word "steroid" will occasionally come through the accent that makes Doctor Ruth sound like a Brooklynite. He won't say anything about his favor of Freedom of Choice.

The party will be chaired by Dave from Stockton ... never mind that he has never been able to put a thought together ... nobody's listening anyway.

What is interesting is who will NOT be on the stage. Don Rumsfeld will not be there. He is consulting with his hand-picked war room to see what can get George reelected -- invading Iran, or Syria. (Korea has nukes -- and Kim is crazy enough to use them -- so we aren't interested in Korea anymore).

Colin Powell won't be there. He is still under his desk hiding his face in shame for going from one of the most respected people in America to the laughingstock of the world in 6 short months.

John Asscroft -- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA -- gimme' a break, ya' gotta' be kiddin', right?

How about the mucho corpulent Jerry (the Jerk) Falwell. Nope he wont' be there.

Pat Robertson? Naw -- he's at home praisin' the Lawd for sending that Hurrican Charlie to wreck that gay mecca of Disneyworld. He just keeps wondering why it took doG 6 years after he asked to get around to doing it. Fortunately for Unka' Pat, Fances has a woman's name.

The Swift Boat Liars?? Oh, wait a minute, this IS the Repuglie Party ... they are not members.

So exactly who is going to show up to show off to the world the face of the Party? Hummmmmm, wait a minute, I am thinking .......

Still thinking ...

Oh, really now, there has to be someone they can show to the nation ...


Since they can't talk about the economy, or Iraq ... both of those suck really bad ... thry need someone to talk about 'family values". Roy Blunt, the Majority Whip from the 7th District of Missouri is just the guy. He has a perfect reputation. While Ms Congressman was at home in Strafford, Missouri, milking the cows, Roy was bonking a tobacco lobbyest. Never fear, not a word was reported by his home town media.

Well, that does leave a lot of time to fill just to plan on how to burn the Reichstag, so there will be rousing choruses of Uber Alles to a lederhosen- clothed band from Brazil.

Maybe the special investigations committee can finally locate all those missing "W's" from the White House keyboards .... it won't be any harder than locating the other W's missing IQ.

Introduction to the Curbstone Critic

First, I suppose a word of introduction is appropriate. I am an aging, liberal, balding, toothless, overweight, male whose idea of "good sex" is a piece of Key Lime cheesecake. So much for introductions.

I wish I could tell you that the name Curbstone Critic was a product of my befuddled mind. Unfortunately, it is not. It was used by an old friend who was the farm editor of the Springfield, Missouri, Leader and Press, and an occasional columnist who took great delight in annoying all the fundamentalists in this small midwestern town, Tom Ellis. RIP

I will continue to annoy them, to the very best of my ability.

But much like my pal, Ron Davis, http://homepage.mac.com/rondavis/iblog/index.html
I have eclectic interests. Hating neo-cons, science, photography and aviation just to mention a few. Heaven only know what might turn up here. Particularly since I am very bad at maintaining my webpage at http://pages.sbcglobal.net/jxstone/index.htm

Sadly, I just discovered that this blogsite does not allow me to post a photo ... too bad ...many times the story is in the pictures. As in the case of the radio nag, Luara the Nekkidly Unashamed Slessinger. Seems as though I heard a promo for Doc Meng's radio show where she is ragging all over some teenager for dressing sexy. Asks her at one point does she (the teen) want guys to look at her for her body or her mind? (The teen lies and says, her mind). Too bad Doc didn't want others to look at HER for her mind. In fact, while engaging in an extramarital affair, she had her boyfriend/lover/just pal, take some polaroids. Now I have no objection to nudity, I take lots of pictures myself. But, I do object to UGLY nudity ... and man, this is ugly ... if you go here, bring a barf bag.


Radio scold Laura first denied it was her -- then sued a website for publishing them --- and then decided it was her after all. She seems to be confused about her own body.

So are we.

See you soon. Fundamentalists, freepers, drunks, and neer-do-wells are invited to write. I promise I will pass your comments along.