Friday, September 30, 2005

Be Prepared in Advance for This

A Federal Judge has ruled that 83 still photos and 4 video tapes that Rhummy wanted to never see the light of the day must be released.

They are photos taken at the Abu Garib prison by US soldiers.

Be prepared for a shock at what our fellow Americans did in our name, and now want the respect we give to soldiers who risk their lives.

They will show the rape of children, young children, in front of their parents for purposes of intimidation.

They will show summary executions of men and women by Americans.

They will show other outrages.

The decent Americans, both in service, and not, will owe the world an apology through our highest leadership for allowing this sort of human rights abuses, and criminal behavior to occur, apparently with our leadership both approving, and then later trying to cover up.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Billy's BoyToyRoy among "Most Corrupt"

Daddy Blunt’s Corruption in Top ThirteenTuesday, September 27th, 2005
Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics In Washington (CREW) released yesterday a 93 page report on the thirteen most corrupt members of Congress. The list includes both Democrats and Republicans - this is not a partisan effort. Missourians can be proud that one of their own made the cut:Rep. Roy Blunt (R-MO) is a […]

Find it HERE....

You Are Invited to a Party

You are invited to attend a party hosted by the Texas Republicans.

It's a Pig Roast to raise money for Tom Delay's Defense Fund and Commissary account at Marion.

Delay and Billy'sBoyToyRoy have been invited, but haven't said if they are going to show up. Both of them have asked if they are the honored guests or the main course.

Incidentally, BoyToy was given a pass for promotion ... since his campaign finances are a mess too -- I wonder if they know something we don't ...

Yet ....

Bear With Me ...

I am redoing the blog with a different background, links to other blogs, etc ... and am both slow and stupid as to how to do it ... so stand by ... I'll eventually figure it out.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Doin' the Lynndie

Lynndie ... doin' the Lynndie ... and having more fun than skinnin' a hog in back of the double-wide.

How do you do the Lynndie? Need instructions on the proper pose? Brand of cigarette? How to shift your weight to your back foot without falling on your face? Maybe how to do 10 years in the shuffle line to get breakfast at Leavenworth?

Doin' the Lynndie is becomming more popular, thanks to this cute picture, that makes grits look edible. Muslim men seem offended, but what the hey? Those terrorismists will get over it in a couple of generations -- and not try to blow up the statue of John Q. staring vacently at the US Courthouse. Try going HERE.

Even some world figures are getting in on the fun. Go here to see the Toy-Prez getting Lynndied by a world figure who obviously doesn't hold him in the same high respect that Les from Blue Eye does.

Send me your candids of locals getting Lynndied. I might suggest a couple of names that would be prize winners: Billy Long, Tom Carlson, any real estate developer (but I become redundant), Doc Yak, pastor of the Everlasting Holy Church of the Jesus Cult and Flying Spaghetti Monster, Matt Blunt, any football coach, the editorial board of the News and Loser, whoever it is that puts those stupid disclaimers at the start of every PBS TV show, Jim Bohannon, Wayne Newton, Aunt Norma Champion, Vincent David Jerico (aka Vince Shottenkirk), Ruth from Shell Knob, any landlord, a greeter from Walmart, any girl named Bambi or guy named Rick, Carol Jones, Phyliss Shafley or Satan (take your pick on those two).

And for a change how about a nekkid girl givin' the Lynndie to a guy in cammies?

Friday, September 23, 2005

Bill Maher to Boy George

And finally, New Rule: America must recall the president. That's what this country needs. A good, old-fashioned, California-style recall election! Complete with Gary Coleman, porno actresses and action film stars.

And just like Schwarzenegger's predecessor here in California, George Bush is now so unpopular, he must defend his jog against...Russell Crowe. Because at this point, I want a leader who will throw a phone at somebody. In fact, let's have only phone throwers. Naomi Campbell can be the vice-president!

Now, I kid, but seriously, Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you anymore. There's no more money to spend. You used up all of that. You can't start another war because you also used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people.

Yeah, listen to your mom. The cupboard's bare, the credit card's maxed out, and no one is speaking to you: mission accomplished! Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service. And the oil company. And the baseball team. It's time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or spaceman?!

Now, I know what you're saying. You're saying that there's so many other things that you, as president, could involve yourself in...

Please don't.

I know, I know, there's a lot left to do.There's a war with Venezuela, and eliminating the sales tax on yachts. Turning the space program over to the church. And Social Security to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote. But, sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You've performed so poorly I'm surprised you haven't given yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man.

Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire metropolis to rising water and snakes.

On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two Trade Centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans...Maybe you're just not lucky!

I'm not saying you don't love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side. So,yes, God does speak to you, and what he's saying is, "Take a hint."

Thursday, September 22, 2005

A Night at the Moxie

Last night was the monthly get together and lie-a-lot meeting of the Springfield Bloggers. Our motto: drink, then adjourn. As usual you can listen to a podcast of the festivities at Andy Cline's Blog.

Since it was opening day for the Moxie Theater ... yes ... it is actually finished .. open for business -- and the bar is stocked!!!! We cruised on over to 408 W. Walnut to catch the flick and festivities.

This one is going to be a big hit. It was great. It's small and intimate, but the screen and sound are great. A long intermission allows time for girl watching, catch a smoke, talk about the movie, etc.

And it this is typical of the kind of movies that they will play ... oh, man. I have turned back into a movie fan.

The name of this little film is Me and you and Everyone We Know (If you want to see some reviews go HERE -- NOTE TO SPRINGFIELD FUNDIES: STAY AWAY --- we like it -- you will hate it ... save yourself the $8, and put the picket signs and gasoline cans back in the closet). This film won awards at Cannes, Sundance and others, and it is something that Springfield would have never seen if it wern't for the Moxie. No I won't tell you the plot, that would ruin it. But watch for the show to get stolen by a 7 year-old who has a riske internet relationship with an older woman, and his teenage brother who is the object of an --- er --- interesting experiment by two girls.

Adult entertainment for a non-fundy adult brain.

Thanks Dan and Nichole, and Dan Senior, and everyone else. You have given Springfield a treat.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Until Every Nazi's Dead

The Day The Nazi Died
by Chumbawamba

We're taught that after the war the Nazis vanished without a trace
But batallions of fascists still dream of a master race
The history books they tell of their defeat in forty-five
But they all come out of the woodwork on the day the Nazi died
They say the prisoner of Spandau was a symbol of defeat
Whilst Hess remained imprisoned and the fascists they were beat
So the promise of an aryan world would never materialise
So why did they all come out of the woodwork on the day the Nazi died
The world is riddled with maggots--the maggots are getting fat
They're making a tasty meal of all the bosses and bureacrats
They're taking over the board rooms and they're fat and full of pride
And they all came out of the woodwork on the day the Nazi died
So if you meet with these historians I'll tell you what to say
Tell them that the Nazis never really went away
They're out there burning houses down and peddling racist lies
And we'll never rest again until every Nazi dies

Pity-Pat Eats Another Coprolite

Pity-Pat Robertson, (R-Crazierfundythan Assama), said on the 700 Club religious show from Hell that Katrina was punishment for New Orleans because Ellen Degeneres is from there -- and everybody knows what a perv she is - right?

(Gee .. why is it that Pity-Pat is starting to look a lot like that Pfat Phool Phalwell?)

doG seems to be much more tolerent to all 'dem queers in Key West, along with all the nekkid college kids, and not to mention all 'dem Commie Reds in Cubra, because Rita missed those joints.

However, Gawd and Rita are taking direct aim on the most evil place in the US.

Crawford, Texas.

Patty-Pat is praying hard that it will turn south.

Send him some money. It will help his diamond business and Jesus.

Monday, September 19, 2005

The Incredible Theft of $1 billion

From the Defense Department ...

And they don't have a clue.

Welcome to Bush's world of business as usual.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

I Am Such a Cad

The only reason I am posting this link is to scoop Ron Davis and CHATTER on the posting of his fav genre of story.

Traci J. Tapp is here and now ....

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Pity the Rich

The Phone Sex Worker from Hell

It happened today on the Al Franken Radio Show. It was the most bizzare 8 minutes I have ever heard. I am looking for an audio clip or transcript, stay tuned.

Seems as though Boy-George gave out a number that he tought was for hurricane relief in his speech last night. The number he gave out was 1-877-KATRINA. Turns out that is the number for a phone sex line. ($3 per minute, 10 minute minimum, at my age it doesn't take anywhere nearly that long -- hell I can even have a cigarette, and still not be over minimums.)

At any rate he called from his show. They seemed to be busy today ... .for some reason. But he finally got through, and a very sultry, sexy voice said that she was -- er ... ahhhhh ... ahem ... here to serve him.

Al was honest, he said his name was Al, and he was calling from a radio show. What he was wondering if the sex talker's company might be willing to sell the number 1-877-KATRINA to the feds, considering how hurricane relief was important, the decent thing to do after the prez had screwed up the number on national TV, and all.

Well ..... sexy phone worker turns out to live in Louisiana ... and is probably about 60 years old ... has a potty mouth .... and makes the most racist bastard I know look like the hero of Schindler's List. Gone was the sexy voice- gone- only to be replaced with the voice of Satan (I kid you not on that one), spewing the vilest hate to blacks, the poor, the displaced from Katrina, and the world in general. I could only sit back in utter amazement as she spewed the most vile stuff I have ever heard .... she makes the drug-addled Pigman ... look like Doctors Without Borders.

Franken was caught so off guard by this "woman" that he was just plain speechless. I know my jaw dropped about a foot.

But she is a loyal supporter of George Bush. And she is tired of paying taxes on all her .... ahem ... er .... hard work, to support dem coons, darkies, niggers, spades, and criminals in New Orleans.

Unbelievable ... in the extreme ... but think of her the next time your world is lying heavily in your hands and you need relief. Take pity on the Old Hag in Louisiana, who is just trying to support her poor white trailer-trash lifestyle, with her sexy voice.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Allowing George the Lesser to Dress Himself ....

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Brit and the Baby Federline

For all those interested in important things, the fetus Federline finally has a decent wireless connection out of that fetid place he has been in the past 9 months. And he already is showing that he intends to run the show and be a very collicky one at that.

See it here.

No more tongue-shots with Christina and Madonna on MTV. This kid is going to keep her on the straight and level.

Think Brit, with bikini scars, and bacon strips ...

George the Lesser on New Orleans

(And this from the White House Press Room):

Reporter: President Bush, what is your position on ROE versus WADE?

Bush: I don't care how they get out of New Orleans.

Thanks to Jim Terr and his alter ego, buDDy for watching C-SPAN to catch this one.

Billy Long reads Rove memo on air - embarrassed again

Billy Long got up early this morning to memorize the latest "talking points" memo for right-wing radio. Unfortunately, he actually believed it, since he didn't bother doing any checking of his own. Like HERE.

He said that 2000 empty schoolbusses could have been used to evacuate the resistees to evacuation in New Orleans.

I hope Billy runs his auctions with more honesty than Rove writes his memos.

Because New Orleans dosen't have 2000 schoolbusses. The had on August 29th 365 busses, of which 70 were down for maintenance. In addition the RTA (Regional Transit Authority) were running every bus they had, over 500 of them and every single person who wanted to be evacuated -- was.

But it is a lot easier to blame the screw-ups of your cronies by blaming a mayor - black of course, than it is to blame it on your own failed administration.

Incidentally, every terrorist in the world has looked at how totally ineffective our government has been, and wondering how they can exploit the corruption, sickness, and stupidity of the Bush administration.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

If you are poor and steal during a national crisis, you are a thief.

If you are rich and steal during a national crisis, you are a Republican.

Ten Questions for the 39% of godbots, domionists, rednecks, racists, and goobers who still think George the Lesser is doing a good job:

1. Who dresses you in the morning?

2. Do you use common utensils when you eat?

3. Which of these items is different from the others? a) Cup b) Plate c) Bowl or d) Porcupine

4. Do you take your medication before answering polls?

5. If a car is going 60 miles per hour, how far will it go in one hour?

6. How many words are in your vocabulary? Please be exact.

7. Do you steer your car with the big wheel in front of the driver's seat or with one of the pedals on the floor?

8. Which goes “woof,” a doggie or a kitty?

9. In what state is the Kentucky Derby held?

10. On a scale of one to ten, with ten being President Bush and one being a rock, just how stupid are you?

Sunday, September 11, 2005

The Most Disgusting Quasi-Human on Earth

Rep Richard Baker (R-UglyUglyUgly) said that, "God has cleaned up those housing projects in New Orleans."

Q. How many right-wingers and Freeps will come to his defense.

A. All of them

An Important Day

Today is one of those holidays I actually enjoy celebrating.

It is World's Naked Gardening Day.

I assume that among all the pretties, one will not find a cactus garden.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Another Pugly "Neat Idea" Backfires

This year the Republican Congress, over the objections of all consumer groups, changed the Bankruptcy Laws, to provide less protection for consumers and give more to the creditors. Great idea, they said. Make those cheating slobs pay more to corporations.

Seems as though there is a snag.. caused by Ugly Kate. People have lost everything ... houses, cars, all belongings, jobs ... everything. Bankruptcy may be the only alternative for them. There may be some insurance or disaster money, but nowhere near enough to restore their previous lives.

But count on the fact that bill collectors will keep calling ... wanting hospital or doctor bills paid today or they will sue.

So, Rep Nodler has had to introduce a special bill to exempt people effected by Katrina, and make them elegible for protection under the old Bankruptcy Laws.

If you live in Missouri you are outta' luck ... screw you.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

How Will Billy Long Spin This Gem?

Right-wing talk radio is making a big deal out of Bushy declaring a state of emergency for Louisiana on Saturday before Ugly Kate.

OK ...

The fact is, that the state of emergency was declared only for the Parishes in northern Louisiana -- which oddly enough vote Repugly.

There was no Parish in southeastern Louisiana included.

No Orleans, no Jefferson, no St. Bernard, no St. Tammany, no Plaquemines.

Those Parishes vote demo most of the time.

More lies and distortions from the evil brain of KKKarl Rove.

The Latest Bushism

George the Absent thru his dummy with a finger up his butt, so his mouth would move said yesterday that, ...criticized for going AWOL for days after Katrina, the White House said Tuesday that "we're not going to engage in the blame game" but instead would keep the focus on rescue and recovery efforts.

"Scott McClellan (R-Lying Bastard) said Bush was not satisfied with the response and that there are problems that need to be addressed. But he would not talk about Brown or say whether any officials had offered their resignation because of the widespread criticism.

"This is all looking at the blame game," McClellan said. "We're not going to engage in the blame game."

I guess that's what the White Star Line said the day after the Titanic sank.

Read it here.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

It Wasn't Racism - It Was Anti-Semitism

We discovered today that the non-reponse by George Bush (R-FlunkedMathOne), and the failed Horse Lawyer Michael Brown, was not because those people are poor niggers in NO and Democrats anyway. It was because it was a Jewish Conspiracy to loot the money.

It is called the "Levy District" isn't it.

Do the goobers who call radio station KWTO need any more proof?

Monday, September 05, 2005

Within a week ...

Our Toy Prez ... Georgie-Porgie.... will award a Presidential Medal of Freedom to his horse-lawyer pal, "Brownie". Michael Brown who has turned in the most incompetent performance in history, save perhaps another Medal winner, George Tenent.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

The Dumbest Thing Heard Today

Some macho FBI big-shot saying how this is just terrorism and they are going to get tough with terrorists, like people looting for food and water ... said he thought the situation in NO was "melancholy".

They were busy protectecting assests that noone ever heard of that could have placed the entire eastern US in danger if Assama had attacked them Monday.

Someone should take him out behind the barn and deliver a .38 special slug to his head. But I doubt any vital organs would have been hit. Clearly his brains and his dick are the same.

My Thoughts Exactly

This is a letter from Michael Moore, love him or hate him, this gets right to the heart of the problem.

Find it here.

This is an exerpt:

I especially like how, the day after the hurricane, instead of flying to Louisiana, you flew to San Diego to party with your business peeps. Don't let people criticize you for this -- after all, the hurricane was over and what the heck could you do, put your finger in the dike?

Sit down to read this

Yesterday they were supposed to announce an estimated death toll for Hurricane Katerine. They didn't. Now I may know why.

One source, which is generally reliable, Zepps news, says that the toll may be as many as 10,000.

I like everyone hope that this is wildly off. But I will not be surprised if it isn't.

Friday, September 02, 2005

How stupid is the Bush administration

George the Lesser is going to do a flyover of the disaster today. That should really help the dead and dying.

This morning he admitted that he and apparently no one around had any idea of those people in the Civic Center.

In a way this is a metaphore for this entire administration. Everybody is a general. Nobody is a Sergeant.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Two thumbs up

Amidst all the ineptness of government in dealing with the disaster in Louisiana, there are two bright spots. Both are expected, because the individuals involved have been planning for many years in case this ever happened.

First, the Amateur Radio Operators, the HAMS. Ever since Camille the Gulf Coast Hurricane Warning Net has met formally every week on 3980 MHz. These people have practiced sending emergency messages, coordinating with local Emergency people, and have prepared themselves by haing every sort of communication and emergency power systems. We have a small example here in Springfield every year on "Field Day" when the HAMS make a contest of emergency communications set up at Lake Springfield.

Many HAMS also participate in what is called MARS. The Military Affiliate Radio System. Back in the old days the military would give surplus equipment to HAMS who gained points by participating. The system has fallen into disuse in this age of the internet and satellite phones, but is there, and being used as a system of last resort. We need to tip the hat to all the HAM operators who for all these years have spent their own money and devoted millions of hours with no repayment and little recognition.

The other is the role of the Coast Guard. This should come as no surprise, since the CG is almost entirely devoted to humanitarian missions, very risky missions. We are seeing that happen in NO right now. No branch of the service will exit the picture of this disaster with greater glory than the Coast Guard.

And lastly, the National Guard, which is the most valuable resource available to a State in an emergency is almost unavailable. 1/2 of them are presently in Operation Fucking Disaster destroying cities, rather than trying to save their neighbors. The rest suffer from worn-out equipment, and just plain weariness.

This is another example of the "Dogs of War" the unintended consequences of military adventurism, so that the neo-cons could shake their dicks at the rest of the world.