Brit Dumps Sperm Donor

Fed-Ex's usefulness is over. And Brit is wearing a sign saying, "Do not inflate to over 50 lbs per square inch."

HOT! HOT! HOT! This just out!!

Baby Brit has issued a press release:

"Good riddance to that no-talent creep. The only thing he has ever done, or is ever expected to do, in his life is to donate some DNA to ME! Geeezzzeee now he can go back to being major-domo roadie for Guns and Roses. I see a definite relationship with Courtney Cox in his lowly life.

Mom ain't much better. Look at that fat ass. The only thing in life that could be worse for me is to have Kirsty Alley mistake me for a couch pillow. Hey, mom, lay off the Doritos, OK? And to think the best part of my life is over too. Take a gander at them hOOters. They used to be one fine meal, I used to be able to stare solefully into her eyes while I was gobblin', hopin' she remembered to turn the lights on, now lunch involves staring at the dimples on her knees.

And what is it with the gunny-sack dress. Mom, all of 23 years old and dressing like Granny on the Beverly Hillbillies. She rich, every teenage boy on the net has ruined his sock drawer over her, and she dresses like that green faced woman in the Wizard of Oz. Next thing I know she will become a Wiccan.

Man -- rapture me away from these people. If I am going to eat decent again let Brad and Angelina adopt me as a brother to the urchin from baldachin. Crikey, that kid has it good. "