Tuesday, March 13, 2007

All the News That's Not...

Small newspapers actually have a personality. They report your grandma's 70th birthday. They report the festivities at the local American Legion Hall. They also actually report police blotter entries... and those are the best part.

A blogger collects them. Here are a couple you might enjoy from the same paper.

• 4:44 p.m. — A female caller said children were playing in the dumpsters at Wal-Mart.

Sounds more sanitary than going inside to shop.

• 5:01 p.m. — A Cadillac Lane caller said she found an ear in her bathtub. She was not sure how it got there.

Absolutely no comment

• 7:06 p.m. — A Mesa Vista High School employee reported that numerous Questa High School fans were getting out of hand during a basketball game. The referee was getting harassed and a player who was thrown out of the game was also being harassed. Deputies had to be rerouted to a domestic violence call.

At least the game wasn't played in Chicago.

• 8:59 p.m. — A State Road 68 caller said her sister was assaulting her. She kept jumping on her while she was in bed, the caller said.

Spice is nice, but incest is best.

• 7:06 p.m. — A Calle del Pajarito caller said a heavy-set blond woman has been yelling at people all day. People are beginning to throw rocks at her, the caller said. Police spotlighted the area but found no criminal activity.

I wonder if the Minutia-guy's Crazy Stick Lady has moved?

• 8:30 p.m. — A Calle del Pajarito woman said a man was soliciting sex and using his power. She said they were using the children in the housing area and are somehow involved with the mortuaries.

"using his power" .... heh, heh, heh....

• 9:09 p.m. — A Calle Loma caller said a woman was lying in the road and two males were attempting to pick her up. The caller said one of the males took off running and the other male is now dragging the woman down the street. Police found the man and woman and arrested the man on a prior warrant. The woman left with a friend.

Must not have been using their power.


Blogger John Stone said...

The report of the ball game reminds me of a friend in Chicago who was a ref at HS games. I was visiting one time and went to a game to watch him.

I went up a long winding staircase in this really rough looking neighborhood to the balcony. I asked a security guard how do I get down after the game? He didn't miss a beat. "Depends on who wins", said he.

5:20 AM, March 13, 2007  

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