Goober-brain as Willy Lohman
Read the whole thing HERE.
It seemed like a cinch. How hard could it possibly be to write a pro-Bush column capable of causing a reader's spleen to burst out of his stomach Alien -style, twisting its little spleen-head up to the sky and crying out, "O the humanity!" Bush is living proof of what Russian proverbs call the worst type of human being: "an idiot with initiative." This shit-for-brains inherited the most powerful empire the world had ever known, an empire so mighty and so sophisticated that most of its subjects didn't even know that they were being ruled and exploited by it... and by the end of his first term, Bush blew the whole thing. Now the New American Century is over, gone forever. Empires don't get second chances.
Which could be funny, right? Think about it: no one had fucked up something so good so fast since the last time Keith Moon was handed the keys to a Ritz Carleton suite. But at least Moon had the decency to OD at age 32. Whereas Bush traded his coke-and-whiskey habit for Jesus just in time to avoid Moon's fate, meaning that the pampered little vampire gets to go on living and blowing through other people's cash -- his family's, the Saudi princes', and worst of all, 300 million American taxpayers'. Thanks to Shithead's idiotic war and mad debts, it won't be long before Bono and Bob Geldof are officially called in to lobby China and Saudi Arabia to forgive America's crushing debt... Which could be funny too, in a dark, Schopenhauerian way.
Bush ... is a loser - the Willy Loman of war-mongerers. He is our Nixon, only a far smaller mind than Nixon, yet with far greater power to unleash his little mind's sandbox plans. Those who sided with Nixon, the "silent majority," suffered from the same sense of irrational grievance that motivates Bush's diehards today: the idea that somehow those on the other side of the debate are simply mocking them, rather than trying to save a nation from destruction at the hands of lunatics. There is something desperate and embarrassing about these aggrieved Bush diehards -- their pig-headedness reminds you of a typical Third World petty-bourgeois; they mistake their self-destructiveness for something like noble defiance; like peasants, they see their king as an extension of themselves, and the king's opponents as visceral enemies rather than people trying to save a great empire from doom.
It seemed like a cinch. How hard could it possibly be to write a pro-Bush column capable of causing a reader's spleen to burst out of his stomach Alien -style, twisting its little spleen-head up to the sky and crying out, "O the humanity!" Bush is living proof of what Russian proverbs call the worst type of human being: "an idiot with initiative." This shit-for-brains inherited the most powerful empire the world had ever known, an empire so mighty and so sophisticated that most of its subjects didn't even know that they were being ruled and exploited by it... and by the end of his first term, Bush blew the whole thing. Now the New American Century is over, gone forever. Empires don't get second chances.
Which could be funny, right? Think about it: no one had fucked up something so good so fast since the last time Keith Moon was handed the keys to a Ritz Carleton suite. But at least Moon had the decency to OD at age 32. Whereas Bush traded his coke-and-whiskey habit for Jesus just in time to avoid Moon's fate, meaning that the pampered little vampire gets to go on living and blowing through other people's cash -- his family's, the Saudi princes', and worst of all, 300 million American taxpayers'. Thanks to Shithead's idiotic war and mad debts, it won't be long before Bono and Bob Geldof are officially called in to lobby China and Saudi Arabia to forgive America's crushing debt... Which could be funny too, in a dark, Schopenhauerian way.
Bush ... is a loser - the Willy Loman of war-mongerers. He is our Nixon, only a far smaller mind than Nixon, yet with far greater power to unleash his little mind's sandbox plans. Those who sided with Nixon, the "silent majority," suffered from the same sense of irrational grievance that motivates Bush's diehards today: the idea that somehow those on the other side of the debate are simply mocking them, rather than trying to save a nation from destruction at the hands of lunatics. There is something desperate and embarrassing about these aggrieved Bush diehards -- their pig-headedness reminds you of a typical Third World petty-bourgeois; they mistake their self-destructiveness for something like noble defiance; like peasants, they see their king as an extension of themselves, and the king's opponents as visceral enemies rather than people trying to save a great empire from doom.
posted by John Stone at 3:06 PM
1 Comments:
Thanks John! Just stumbled onto your site, and I think you have about the most insightful and articulate description I've yet seen of the whole "culture wars" situation. Which in a perverse sorta way has actually been a very clever "re-framing" of the political landscape. But of course how bad do things have to get before some folks are finally willing to admit that, "oopsie, sorry, we've really just been defending our values... and not all these criminals & incompetents that we believed represented them!"?
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