Oh, Good Gawd, Paris !!!

What is that thing? It's either a stolen cornstalk stand from a farmer's field for your halloween costume, or is the skin of a flamingo. Or maybe both...

(And speaking of skin ... oh, never mind...)

And that really kewl guy with you? Honey, you are rich. You can do whatever you want to do.

Find a date that doesn't wear a 1950's zoot suit, tucks his shirt in, shaves, and is sober.

Please,

Love,
Dad