Friday, September 10, 2004

Butler croaks, GOP HQ in mourning

Richard Butler died Wed. I am saddened to report his death was quick, painless amd natural.

Too bad ... so sad ...

He was preceeded in death by his favorite german shepard, Blondi, and his long-time female companion Heidi. He is survived by a son, living in Brazil, who has disowned the family over internal political conflicts.

Cremation plans are incomplete, but Republican leader David Duke is expected to pay his respects to a man he called, "The God and Father of the Conservative Movement." Actor and NRA leader Charlton Heston was said to become misty-eyed as an extra dollop of oatmeal rolled down his chin.

The ashes will be returned to Hairslick, Massabama, where after a cortege of his favorite autos, 56 Red Ford pick-ups, the ashes will be stored in a rusty file cabinet, empty awaiting his remains save for a lone, thin, yellowing folder of news reports of the Neuremburg War Trials, marked by aquamarine crayon crosses.

Butler, noted racist and leader of the skinheads and Aryan Nations, was arrested several years ago in an airport with his black girlfriend, a 31-year-old stripper known as the "Latin Princess," on a forgery warrant, according to the Southern Poverty Law Center.

The Republican Headquarters did not announce when it would reopen, however, an unidentified spokesman said, "He was a man of rare intellect and compassion. He really loved that dog and it broke his heart when he decided to shoot it."

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