Sunday, April 02, 2006

Tim O' Ranter

The world's loudest and most obnoxious internet pest, Patrick Timothy Bolen, (that's the name that's on all the summons to court), but I know him better as Assama bin Blowpipe, who calls himself a "publicist".

(One time he sued me, and about thirty others, including some domain names, and internet discussion group, two witnesses in a federal case against one of his "clients", a couple of non-existent persons, and even a supporter of his, for three closely-spaced pages of criminal activity. See this howler HERE. Suits for malicious prosecution are outstanding and waiting in the wings.)

(Our crimes! Yikes!Unlawful, Unfair, and Fraudulent Business Practices (B & PC ยง 17200 et seq ), Violation of Civil Rights, Intentional Interference With Prospective Advantage, Negligent Interference With Prospective Advantage, Civil Racketeering Influenced and Corrupt Organizations (RICO), Abuse of Process, Negligence, Civil Conspiracy, and a plea for Injunctive ReliefplusMail Fraud, Wire Fraud, Perjury, Subornation of Perjury, Extortion, Stalking, Terrorist threats, Assault, Filing false police reports, Illegal lobbying, Illegal influence of foreign government officials and/or agencies, Trespass, Invasion of Privacy, Web site tampering, Internet Spam, Investigation without license, Violation of Civil Rights & Free Speech, Interference with Right of Free Speech and Association)

In looking through some court documents yesterday from PACER I ran across a gem of what I first thought was a wonderful April Fool's joke. Turns out that the only fool, or joke, is Blowpipe hisself. To understand this little story one has to know the player.

Blow "represents" all sorts of people accused of practicing bad medicine. He promises to be their "publicist" and get them out of all the hot water they are in. Trouble with his advice, for those who have been foolish enough to follow it, is that they go from being mildly sactioned, perhaps a fine and a reprimand, to losing their licenses, big fines, and even criminal charges in some cases. If you are in trouble, he is the kiss of death. Read about one HERE.

He started out by "representing" Hulda Clark, ND (Not medical Doctor) who wrote a couple of books. The Cure to All Cancers, and the Cure to All Diseases. Nothing subtle about that woman. After skating on a charge in Indiana for practicing medicine without a license, she fled to California where she fell into Blowpipe's tender graces.

Or there's the case of Stuart Suster, MD. He was in a little hot water for verbally abusing some patients and some questionable billing stuff. There are many physicians out there with the personality of toads, so this one didn't cross the radar screen until Blow became involved.

And then a TV station got interested. And before too long the list of doings of Suster was growing and growing. Here are a couple:

Improperly prescribing controlled drugs.
Improperly touching 16 women, including seven whose breasts he grabbed or fondled

when they were in his office and two he kissed while they were receiving
"electrostimulation treatment" in a reclining chair.
Threatening to injure four patients.
Improperly fondling the scrotum of a male patient who had complained of constipation.

Oh, did I mention that Suster is a dwarf? Odd that I would forget that before I started the story.

At any rate, bin Blowpipe didn't make it to his latest scheduled deposition in the Case of Aetna v. Cavitat. Happy Crack is an "investor" in the lawsuit hoping to make some easy money from Aetna Insurance who will just want to get rid of the annoyance and will be willing to fork over some dough.

Aetna is not stupid.

Blow clained in a court document that his beloved wife, Jan is sick, sick, sick and in the Mission Viejo Medical Center ... and he just can't be away from her side..... maybe, maybe not.

But the amusing thing is: she went to see those cut, burn and poison allopaths. And here she was, only a few minutes away from Hulda Clark's "clinic"/healthfood store/payday loan shack in Tiajuana. She could have gone to see Hulda and been "zapped" and saved a lot of pain and trouble ... unfortunately, she probably wouldn't have saved any money.


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