I'm So Lonely

This is a tough town for single guys who don't ride motercycles, do bath daily, eat something other than KFC, and have teeth (or more than a tooth).

So, like the CHATTERist guy I needed help. Yahoo sent me an offer to join a dating service for free to meet women who think like I do. I should have known it was a scam rightaway because I have never met a woman in my life that thinks like I do.

I don't like to dance. I definitely ain't into Prayer Meeting on Wed night. A "warm and cuddly" relationship sounds like something illegal that is done with a housecat. I learned long ago that discribing yourself as "mature and voluptous" means you are old and fat. And figured out that "love the outdoors" means you enjoy polishing the old .44 Magnum, and gigging for bullfrogs at night.

I am looking for that honest woman, who is interested in big houses, jewelry, dinners in the Tower Club, and playing bridge with the girls at Highland Springs.

So I put my profile up on Yahoo Personals. Since I didn't read it real closely, I didn't realize that they will email me every week a list of the females who fit my profile, (hell I fit more of the profile of Assama bin Laden than I fit the one on Yahoo.)

Not a single one of them is interested in sex.

Just my luck.