Rumaging Through Her Knickers Drawer

Bonnie Bell, resident genius and sales manager at radio KWTO AM occasionally comes on the radio and makes a damn fool of herself. Yesterday was no exception.

The right wing is searching desparately for some way to save George IV from the chopper in the public square. So lying is OK. Or just being dumb -- self assured -- but dumb.

She said she didn't see any big deal about the government spying on you. Heck, if you arn't doing anything wrong, what's the harm? Hell, if the NSA wants to go thru my underwear in seach of proof that I am not a terrorismist all they will find is some old stuff from Victoria's Secret, a long unused box of Sheiks, a dried up tube of KY jelly, and a well dog-ear'd copy of Cosmo with Burt Reynolds as the centerfold.

If they want to check what I read at the library all they will find is I like Laura (R-the unloved) Schlessinger and I like her "I am better than you" photos without her pants on. (WARNING: Nasty, nasty, ugly and revolting pics of Doc Meng found there).

So why should it come as any surprise to point out why is spying on me such a big deal, after all Bill Clinton did it to Newt Gingrich. Remember when Bill and Hillary spyed on that cell phone call down in Florida? Got the newtster in quite a bit of hot water.

Pot meet kettle.

Trouble is -- she made it up, for the benefit of the goobers who listen to her while sitting on the front stoop of the double-wide polishing that old tooth. Newt was overheard by a couple, a preacher no less as I recall, who had about as much linkage to the Clintons as I have to Zeta Retorica. They were shocked at what he was actually doing and went to the newspaper. No government spying.

Will we hear an apology and correction from Bonny Bell. HAHAHA ... ya' gotta' be kiddin'. She is a sales manager for a low class radio station. She knows repuglies. She is a very important person. And very important persons cannot lower themselves to apologise. It is bad for the image. Ask George Bush.

Even Colmes can beat up Michael Behe

The wimpiest guy in the pantheon of TV talking heads is Alan Colmes, of Hannity and Colmes. He sits there and lets his intellectual candle shine next to Hannity's verbal bonfires, and never squeaks a note of real dissent. Imagine how surprised I was when he actually burned Michal Behe's ass off (Darwins Black Box, species - ID, variety - finding irreducible complexity in artwork, but not in biology).

See the transcript here:

I swear, if Mt. Rushmore had never been carved Michael Behe would not have a single argument left. And the next time he says, "literally", someone should take him outside and just beat the dog-shit out of him. It doesn't mean what Behe thinks it means.

The best quote:

COLMES: What about any of this is scientific?
BEHE: I'm sorry?
COLMES: What about any of this is scientific?

The "Aristocrats" Joke

I was reminded by my pal Jim Terr, aka, buDDy, that there is now a movie/documentary out dealing with the world's filthiest joke.

The Aristocrats joke has a million variations, I first remember hearing it a magic conventions in the wee hours of the morning in a darkened hotel bar where all the finger-flinger magicians were worn out and tried to outdo the joke with each other.

There are some variations of the joke that can be found HERE.

I need to talk with Dan at the MOXIE to be sure to run the movie. If none of the other movies there have pissed of the fundies/bluenoses around town ... this one will.

On Baptist Ministers and Blogs

Anyone who reads this silly blog knows that occasionally I can, and do, unload on the Christian fundamentalists. I can assure you that I have no intention of changing that!

But I have to stop every once in awhile and remind myself that scattered among the crazies like that Pfat Pfool Pfalwell, or Pity-Pat Robertson, and a boatload of locals, are a smattering of those who take the words of Jesus, and not George, very seriously. They do what they can to make not only religious life, but civil life, more bearable to those they pastor. People like the Salvation Army, or Sister Lorainne's Kitchen realize that salvation of souls is fine, but taking care of the dead really doesn't mean anything unless you are willing to take care of the living first.

I found one of these rare people on blogspot of all places. Bruce Prescott from Norman, OK, who authors the blog, "Mainstream Baptist". His thoughts are well worth reading and bookmarking. He is articulate, his thoughts are testament to his religion, and ... to cap it all off he has an earned doctorate, rather than one of those $10 certificates that most of the Doc Yaks that have churches around here have, and demand that they be addressed with the honorific (or is it the horrorific?).

I come from a long line of Baptists. My favorite Uncle is a retired Baptist minister in the Phoenix area. One of my childhood chums is a Baptist minister int he Atlanta area (he has an earned doctorate too, and is scary-smart -- always has been). My maternal grandfather was a circuit-riding Methodist minister in Arkansas -- but we forgive him for his heresy of sprinkling, rather than dunking. (By the way, does that donut place have associations with the Baptists. Can you be ecumenical by dunking a sugar sprinkled donut in your coffee? Just a thought.)

So, I promise to occasionally report on those in religious life who enrich us all, rather than some whack-job that confuses Jesus with the Republican National Chairman. Dr. Prescott is one of those. A tip of the hat to him.

It's Over in Dover

Only a fool would have expected a different decision. But the breadth of Judge Jones' decision is breathtaking. ID is as dead as dead can be. Oh, yeah, there will be a lot of caterwalling and gnashing of teeth, but the idea is dead. The "Wedge Strategy" has become the wedgie stratergy ... and it itches, and there is a lot of butt-to-nose- fingering going on with the fundies.

The trial itself was a hoot. Consider that one of the main proponents of ID, Michael Behe, said on the witness stand that under his definition of science, astrology fits. Or when presented with 79 peer reviewed papers that appeared in the scientific literature that show that the blood clotting system is anything but "irreduceably complex", waved them off with a shrug. Or when asked why the designer gave better eyes to squids and octapi than he gave to humans, remained silent.

And the biggest slam-dunk of all: This quotation from the decision....

"The citizens of the Dover area were poorly served by the members of the Board who voted for the ID Policy," Jones wrote. "It is ironic that several of these individuals, who so staunchly and proudly touted their religious convictions in public, would time and again lie to cover their tracks and disguise the real purpose behind the ID Policy."

It's an easy goal when the net is only a foot off the floor.

The usual and expected bat squeeze has issued forth from the Discovery Institute; (1) one of those damn "activist" judges" - actually an appointee of GW Bush, (2) an athiest cult of scientists, or (3) it's all the fault of someone else.

Although Defendants attempt to persuade this Court that each Board member who voted for the biology curriculum change did so for the secular purposed of improving science education and to exercise critical thinking skills, their contentions are simply irreconcilable with the record evidence. Their asserted purposes are a sham, and they are accordingly unavailing, for the reasons that follow...

This links to the entire decision.

I wonder if they had hired that constitutional genius Dee Wampler who said on radio this morning that God is a part of our sacred documents such as the Constitution they might have won ... naw just a funny thought.

Now the question is, how much will the bill be that is presented to the citizens of Dover, PA for this exercise in insanity? The judge allowed for all plaintiff attorney fees, costs, and damages, although the ACLU rarely asks for damages.

Or since the citizens of Dover threw all the rascals out in November the ACLU might let them off the money hook.

The Latest Disaster for the US in Iraq

Rummy said that, "... you go to war with the Army ya' got, not the Army ya' want." We can now say that we have to deal with the Iraq "democracy" we got, not the one we want.

Biggest winner: Iran

Next biggest winner: Shite Clerics

Tagging along for purposes of saving face: Sunni Clerics

And the bright spot in the whole mess? Chalabi is out on his ass again. Maybe he can go back to Jordan and try to kiss and make up... he might want to take Pearl and Woofie with him.

This is our cover for getting our ass out of Operation Fucking Disaster. But it won't be easy, and it will be bloody. As any infantryman will tell you, the most dangerous military maneuver is a withdrawal. Remember the chaos at the US Embassy in Saigon in 1975? And what makes this so black is, there is only one exit door out of Iraq open to us -- south. The Turks don't want any part of our screwups --they are going to have plenty of probems with the Kurds in the future and Iran is just sitting there licking it's chops .... Syria??? HAHAHA ... I don't want to be in that convoy.

Imagine various groups planting old artillery shells in the potted palms alongside the highway for the next six months in eager anticipation. It won't be the slaughter like the "Road to Basra" in 1991, but it will be plenty ugly.

The only real alternative is to airlift out the people, code machines and incriminating photos and papers from Abu Garibe; put a thermite grenade down the tube of the artillery, sugar in the gas tanks of the vehicles and let billions of dollars of US assets rot in the desert lagers.

And count on seeing a few burning C-5's on the runways, like in Khe San, 1968.

Bill O'Reilly assults MU student

Disgusting talk show host, and loofa sponge loving, butt plug affectionado, was tried for assulting an MU student.

He was using the alias of Teddy Jensen during his trial, but observers pointed out that was actually the loudmouth radio host.

The most telling testimony? "... shirtless and backing away from the injured woman. His trousers were around his ankles, and the waistband of his boxer shorts was riding at his thighs."

There was no mention of any other incriminating evidence that was found during a body cavity search.

The Genesis of Abu Garib

By Seymore Hersh, who also has seen some of the photos and videotapes that the administration is trying to withold from the world. Photos that make what we have seen before look very tame by comparison.

Read it here.

And who should be most angry about this? The decent men and women of the military. It is not merely their reputation (and ours) that is at stake. It is their very lives.

My friend buDDy

buDDy is one of those interesting characters that lurk in Santa Fe. You can recognize him by his pot belly, trousers tucked into cowboy boots, and a cheap (no rhinestone) imitation of a Porter Wagner shirt.

buDDy has talent. He sings. His talent comes from his good friend Jim Terr, who is shorter, fatter and has less hair -- except on his back and in his ears.

But Jim Terr tries to be a good citizen and occasionally buDDy lets him get in front of an audience to express his social concerns for the country. He is mightily concerned about healthcare, for instance. And you can hear him croon a touching little love song about docs and politicians here.

Photos and Tanning Salons

As reported by Ron Davis on CHATTER, a local gent bought a tanning salon, where you can look beautiful by getting skin cancer for only $20 per session. Turns out, said gent had more in mind for his business than artificial rays. He mounted a hidden camera in the room, and in the space of about three months got hisself quite a collection of tapes. We can't wait to try to ID some of the local Yuppies that got that "brown look" to get ready for that February vacation at Club Med.

Anyone who has been around the net more than ten minutes has seen some of these photos. I thought most of them were "fake" spy-cams because you can definitely spend time in the cell with Da' Dukester it you try it. Plus the quality -- well -- blows.

But since I like to do photography there are some rules that photogs follow. Cops will occasionally hassle photogs, but about one time of them getting sued stops that sort of thing.

First, bridges, buildings, airports, and the local Shriner's Parades are fair game. There have been incidents of photogs film and equipment being confiscated, but the confiscators have learned to regret it. Basically if you can see it from the sidewalk you can take a picture of it.

How about people? The issue is, does the person I am photographing have "a reasonable expectation of privacy." If you are in public, basically you have no reasonable expectation of privacy. You may or may not like having your photo taken, but if push comes to shove, there's nothing you can do about it. However, it's a judgement call, on the part of the photog. Most don't want to make assholes of themselves, they prefer to stay in the background, so will be courteous. There are also some grey areas. Suppose I am walking down the sidewalk and observe my neighbor sweeping the floor in the nude and the window open. The courts might say that she had given up her expectation of privacy, but then again, they might not.

But the perv at the tanning salon? This one is a slam-dunk no-no. I suspect he had more in mind than a personal collection of vids. An internet business proposal, maybe?

The Pigorian Chant

What? You say ....

It's a book actually, and you can read about it and some synopsis HERE.

A few years ago some church types decided that Gregorian Chants were the in thing to do. This was right before they discovered that science from the 14th Century was more fun . And for a short period there were CDs featuring Gregorian Chants galore. I was reminded of this by IAMB at Pooflingers Anomyous who recounts the joys of listening to a solid 24 hours of "Louie, Louie" on a local rock station. And now the tune, but not the lyrics of that masterpiece of musical history have been stolen by the religio-nuts, and evolved into "Pharoh, Pharoh".

But back to Gregorian Chants. They are - well - boring, on several levels. The melody (HAHAHA, can't believe I said that), is less complex than Tuvan Throat Singing, or the octave range of a digery-doo. And of course the words are in Latin. The language of Jesus, Mary and the Howling Ghost. So it is only natural that children can't understand it. So the chants need to be modernized into language that all children will understand while maintaining the more boring aspects of the chant.

The answer?

Pig Latin, of course.

"Ecce Macdonaldus senex, qui fundum habet"

HAHAHAHAHA !!!

Here is a screamingly funny website passed to me by old buddy Jim Bohannon.

Small town police reports.

The Top Ten Worst in Springfield

The 10 worst in Springfield

10. Hammons Field. After running people out of their homes using eminent domain, the city sells the land to John Q. Hammons, who has never seen a public treasury that he didn't covet. What do you get? $7 Parking, $5 beer (no selection, Bud products only -- if you want a good beer go to the Brewing Company), and small $3 bags of some stale peanuts - inedible. Another reason why professional sports suck.

9. All movie theaters -- except for the Moxie. Outrageous ticket prices. Movies made for idiots or fundies in Springfield, stupid prices for popcorn, and armed guards at the door to prevent a Snickers bar from sneaking in. Need I say more?

8. KWTO AM -- Must have some redeming qualities because business still buys ads on it, but it's not the ratings. The lamest programming this side of the new Brittany Spears TV show. Billy Long fitting in 18 commercials in a 30 minute period and Bonnie Bell doing some sort of Valley Girl talk imitation. So incessantly in-your-face right wing that Bill O'Reilly got an amplifier for his butt plug to drown out the noise.

7. The Springfield News-Leader. New motto, "No news is good news"

6. Steak and Ale. The perennial winner of the Springfield Magazine "Best Resturant". Merely proves that people in this berg have (a) no taste, or (b) don't shop for their menu ingredients at Sam's Club.

5. Harlows. A warm and inviting combination of surly and rude waitresses and hillbilly fare cooked badly.

4. Any joint that calls itself a "Gentlemen's Club". I might rate them higher if for no other reason that they piss off all the fundies around town. But I am not into tattoos, police-designed costumes, or the incessent begging for money for the jukebox. One crazed fundie used to picket a place called "The Crazy Horse" (with far less class than the one in Paris), until someone tipped him off that it was owned by a Hells Angels-like biker club. Since he had had his Thorazine that day decided not to bother their business any more ....

3. Walmart. All the color, noise and ambiance of a NASCAR grandstand with the added benefit of seeing every overweight goober in the Ozarks yelling at the kids. Wonderful shopping experience, if you enjoy Texas Chain Saw Massacre movies.

2. hOOters. Has got exactly two things going for it. Eye candy -- not too filling but not very satisfying either. And it's located close to the Nature Center where you can cleanse your soul with a long hike.

AND the WINNER IS:

1. Any bar on Commercial street where Vietnam Vets or wanna' be's hang out. If you are into weepy old drunks who lie a lot -- just the places for you.

DISHONORABLE MENTION:

The Ozark Empire Fair.

Deep fried Twinkies.


One water fountain in 95 degree weather

WWJD - What Would Jesus Do?

Not exactly.

What Would Jenna Drink?

The ever-so-happy Bush twins are back in the news. They finally turned a legal 21 and had a big birthday bash, replete with tiered cake. They managed to blow a .25 on the candles.

I happen to remember that day on the utterly failed Rush Limba TV show that he mentioned the "White House Dog" and showed a picture of a then ungainly, surely unassured, typical teenager, Chelsea Clinton. The Pigboy made Presidential children fair game, and I follow in his dispicable tradition.

Incidentally, have you seen Chelsea recently?? A dog she is not.

Jenna's not a dog either. In fact, she is just downright cute ... in the sort of cute way that you find in cowboy bars, college Young Republicans meetings, and guests on the Jerry Springer Show.

But Jenna seems to have inherited some of her daddy's genetic material. She is continuing the Bush tradion of starting to drink at 5 PM and stopping 19 years later.

But along with all the bad news that comes from the Bush twins actions at frat parties, there is some good news. Jenna is learning to play a musical instrument.... the breathalyzer.

George had to have a little father-to-daughter talk with the girls. He reminded them that he has had to give up the wild life after he was seriously injured, and awarded a Purple Heart for sitting on a broken Lone Star bottle. He still carries a shard of glass in his butt. The fact that he is now a dry, rather than wet, drunk, is the reason he can speak clearly to their problem and not misunderestimate them like everyone else.

It is rumored however, that Jenna is not happy with the code name that she was given by the Secret Service -- Roger Clinton.

Like the day she was photoed in the back seat of the $250,000 heavily armored Presidential limo (I know some Marines in Iraq that would like to borrow that car), sticking her tongue out at the crowd. Way to go, Jenna. Good to see that you have made a successful entry into adulthood.

It interesting that the Bush family has failed to raise the bar in America. Turns out they really meant, close it.

Thank you freeps. I always read your mail with great interest and attention.

Postscript:NY Post: "Jenna and Barbara Bush lived up to their hard-partying reputation while in NYC supporting their pop, during the Republican Convention, according to our spies around town. The twosome kicked off aweek of fun last Sat at Chelsea hot spot 17, where...they partied with a group of 20 guests till the early hours. 'Jenna seemed more wild than Barbara,' said a witness. 'They probably got through about three bottles of Level vodka...' The conservative cuties' next big night was Wed. at Sixth Avenue nightclub Avalon, where they were in the crowd smoking cigarettes and pumping their fists to Kid Rock, who was performing onstage. 'They [and their entourage of about 25] drank $4,500 dollars worth of drinks - bottles and bottles of vodka,' says a club insider.'Then, having comped all the alcohol, they left a $48 tip. We thought 1%was kind of outrageous, considering they are the president's daughters."http://www.buzzflash.com/buzzscripts/buzz.dll/sub2

And cheap too....

Thanks everybody -- I'm astounded

Yesterday, I was thinking about how to make this silly blog better. The obvious thing, is I do some interesting writing ... lotsa' luck ... that's hard work.

But I added the site counter and stats counter ... and I have had 24 hours to look at it. I assumed that really not many people outside my family read this: am I ever wrong. There are more readers from overseas than there are from my little burg of Springfield. Thanks to you all.

And the number? I would have been surprised at 5. Instead, over 40 in the past day. Thanks again.

That puts the pressure on me to do better.

Why Arn't They in Jail?

As first reported on this blog, July 28, 2005, a horror story is going to hit America right between the eyes. And all the spinning by George Bush, Dick-Dick Cheney, the Rhummy, and all the spinning by the crazed right-wing fundies who call Billy Long's radio advertising show, is not going to make the slightest bit of difference after you see the videotapes and photos.

Back in October, a Federal Judge ordered the release of vids and photos that showed American troops committing atrocities equal to those of the SS in 1939, or the Japanese in the city of Nanking. Rape of children in front of of the parents in order to obtain information; summary executions; vile and disgusting stuff. Committed by Americans in uniform.

Naturally, this is something that Bush, et. al, doesn't want you - or anyone else to see. So they appealed the ruling of the Court, if for no other reason than to delay the inevitible.

Now the jig is up. The game is over. And most bizzare of all is the reason they have given to the Appeals Court, is not to block the publication of the material, but instead to give the Administration more time to conceal the identities of the Americans involved.

Let's get this straight. The Bush administration wants to protect the identities of people who have committed crimes for which we ourselves accused Germans and Japanese of doing and hung them by their necks until they were dead.

And what is even worse in their so-called "defense" strategy. These people, who they admit, can be identified from the vids and photos are still out there.They are not accused of any crime against humanity, perhaps still representing you and me in the military of the US. And going scott-free for their crimes.

And the authority for commiting those crimes is now the Attorney General of the US, who is charged with preventing and prosecuting crime.

The time for impeachment, and perhaps trials in the Haigue, is long past.

Some housekeeping details

First, I swear I will get a list of links to the blogs I like and read, up by Tuesday ... honest, I promise. People who read this blog probably already read many of them. But there are some great blogs on biology, medicine and science in general that are amazingly well done.

Also I have a tendency to be under-wordy. (Deconstruct that one Ronbo.) Many times I will read a news report or a blog that just plain says it better than I can, or think I can, so will just give a link. I am going to try to post longer entries, that either explain more about the link, or add something to the link.

And since I like humor, and think the written word is so wonderful for humor, I will try to do more. Much of what passes as my humor comes from a little bit of anger. Anger at the whack-fundamentalist clowns around this part of the country, anger at the stupidity and corruption of "public servants", or, since I work where I can listen to many radio programs, anger and disgust at the way the media, particularly radio, which I love, has deteriorated into nothingness.

So stay tuned, the fun has just started.

Plus, wintertime photos really suck (anyone interested in 42 shades of brown?) and I don't do as many photos for my flickr page. Naw -- that's really not true. Winter is the best time for bird photos, and I was at Fellows Lake today and it was beautiful.

Olduvai George

This is just a reminder to be sure to go HERE and bookmark it.


You will see wonderful things.

Bush worse than Buchanan

Read the entire story here from DocLarry.


The History News Network at George Mason University has just polled historians informally on the Bush record. Four hundred and fifteen, about a third of those contacted, answered -- maybe they were all crazed liberals -- making the project as unofficial as it was interesting. These were the results: 338 said they believed Bush was failing, while 77 said he was succeeding. Fifty said they thought he was the worst president ever. Worse than Buchanan.

George: How much? How many?